I’ve moved to Happiest People in the World. Please join me.
Do you think they’re lazy for naming their band after their city?
When you listen to the harmony on “Peace of Mind,” any lingering concerns about unoriginality go right out the window.
Mikey likes to argue with “liberal commies” in a local rapper’s Facebook wall threads about whether or not Obama is a Kenyan Muslim. The rapper never weighs in.
Do you have a price to put on pretending to like something?
You mean how much do I have to earn to not outright say it sucks? $75 is optimal, but I’ve been known to praise mediocrity for a quick $20. That was a lot of money when I was a kid. Still can’t quite shake that.
Apparently The Beta Band broke up the year you started listening to them, and also mostly forgot about them.
Nothing personal. I just had to dance.
Understandable. You’re good at that.
I had no idea Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got To Do With It” was about loveless sex.
How did you figure it out?
Listened to a ten-minute Beatconductor remix of the song, during which I had plenty of time to think about monotony and unhappiness.
Did you ever have to hear the stories about her friend in podiatry school? She was always bitching about how everyone wears flip-flops.
Is that feet or children?
She refers to her period as “going number three,” as if she’s actively in control. She also has a lot of SARK books about how to be creative, but she mostly watches TV all day with her dogs. It’s hard to be a dimwit, and it’s even harder when you’re an unwilling traveling spouse.
She uses phrases like “I am attractive enough” and pursues men she refers to as “pussies.”
Though he arguably revived political conservatism in the United States, she knew him best for his collection of Hopi kachina dolls, all 437 of which are currently on display in a Phoenix area museum.
